This article is a follow-up piece to: “To Work or Not To Work, Let the Cards Fall”
We filled out the dream list. We thought we’d know by now. They assured by the end of March, we’d know. March came and went. Then, an email promising that it would be no later than the second Monday in April. Monday passed. Each day we heard that we would find out, I spent it pacing and feeling like I was going to get sick. I stared at my phone. Any time it beeped, I pounced on it like a starving jungle cat. Nothing.
Waiting can be agonizing. Waiting for an admissions letter, waiting on a call about a job, waiting for test results; there’s nothing fun about waiting.
The worst round of waiting I’ve ever been through was trying to get pregnant (I’ll dedicate a full post to this later.) Every month we waited and every month ended in disappointment. I didn’t do well during the waiting. In fact, I’m embarrassed to think about how horribly I failed most months at keeping it together. All of that stress, all of that worry, all of that fear and then a miracle… a second pink line appeared.
I’ve spent the last few weeks feeling paralyzed. That may seem dramatic, but I don’t know how else to describe it. I’ve felt as though I don’t want to make another move until we know where we are headed. That’s why I haven’t been posting as much. Whether I try to find news job or not depends largely on where we get stationed next. Stress, worry and fear were once again filling my days.
And then it happened: peace. Somewhere between taking a blogging break, reading Max Lucado’s “Six Hours One Friday” and Easter Sunday, the worrying stopped. You see, I also spent that time researching. I researched the worst-case scenarios. There are 4 bases that pretty much get left empty each year. They are the “unmentionables” as one of Andy’s superiors put it harshly. So, I wanted to prepare myself in case we get one of the “unmentionable” places.
Andy and I thought Las Vegas was an “unmentionable”. Anyone in the military is probably laughing at this. At his interview for residency, the interviewer told him that he would “definitely” get one of his top 3 choices. That’s what we prepared for. Las Vegas was number 7. All we could think of was a dirty desert with neon lights. How were we going to have a baby in a sandbox labeled “Sin City”? Then we got here. We were so wrong. Las Vegas is surrounded by mountains and canyons and is arguably the most beautiful place we’ve ever lived. More than that, we have wonderful friends and Andy has made great connections, we both feel that we were meant to be here. Even though it wasn’t part of our plan, we think it was part of God’s plan for us.
And that’s how we got Violet. If we had baby any sooner, it would have been a big financial stress. I’m going to let you in on a little secret: starting out news personalities make next to nothing. I have no idea how we could have afforded day care if we had a baby any sooner. Not to mention, that baby would not have been Violet. Violet is the child we were supposed to have and she came in God’s perfect timing. He was looking out for us even when we were not listening.
I’ve never learned more in my life than in periods of waiting; the biggest lesson: God is in control and I am not. God’s plans supersede my own. God’s plans are better than my own, our own.
His plan > Our Plan.
So, with that in mind, I’ve decided that there are no “unmentionables” in my book. If we get something that’s not on our list of 20, we will make the most of our situation. We will choose joy and we will have peace knowing that it’s His will.
Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
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